Oh med school! If you like to be busy all the time…then med school is for you! I personally like to have a good mix of busy and calm so sometimes I get overwhelmed by the busy schedule of med school. This week has been fun. I hope all procedures weeks will be this interesting. Got to learn the basics of inserting a foley catheter, inserting an NG tube, starting an IV, blood draws and suturing!! Suturing was by far my favorite and I really enjoyed it. I could have stayed there all day honestly. I like learning the practical side of medicine too. It makes me feel like I am actually capable of doing something doctor-y if necessary.
This week coming and this month in general is a busy one. I have a lot of meetings about rotations, boards and other future things. Med school is all about preparing for the future, all the time. It is kind of hard to live in the present with that kind of environment. It almost feels sometimes like this time is not to be valued because its all about being ready for those patients to come. I find it hard to even figure out the first decision….COMLEX alone or COMLEX and USMLE together. For that, you need to know sorta what you want to specialize in. I have no clue!! I really wish I had an inkling of what I want to do. When are you really supposed to figure that out? Rotations would be the perfect place to learn that but you have already taken step 1 of boards by then.
Then I have to figure out where in the heck to go for my residency and to get into them, you need to do audition rotations there. How do you figure that out?? Unbelievably overwhelming and I wish there was someone at school to help with all this. It would be nice to have guidance counselors all through life. Medicine is a hard road full of tons of decisions and lots of sacrifice. I think it will be worth it in the end though. I wonder what city will be next. Sure Nashville would be great, but I am not sure it will happen. Chicago sounds cool, so does DC. Out west somewhere might be nice too. There are a good number of possibilities but which is right for me? Which is best for Eric? What if I want to be in the middle of nowhere and Eric needs to be in the city? How do we figure that out?
So many questions….no answers. I guess I will just have to learn to sit with the unknowns and be ok with them for now. I feel lucky that I have a great husband who seems to be happy to be along for the crazy ride. I have amazing friends who seem to stick around too even if geography tries to part us. Then there are other friends that I fear are slipping away forever. Are you really supposed to remain friends with people you grew up with forever? I always thought so, but maybe sometimes, people change and take such different directions in life that there is no longer that bond? Sometimes I feel like I still have the love and care for them but they don’t put me in the same category. Maybe its them and maybe its me not realizing that that relationship may have had its time and that it was finite. I hope not because the more people I meet, the more I seem to recognize that the people I grew up with are the best people I know. Which makes them the hardest to lose….